The First Draft Beginning of Waiting on the Dead

Jul 12

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It’s the first draft, so forgive me if it sucks. Let me know if it does, though, just so I can try to fix it.

Anyway, this is how it begins:

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Posted in Stories, Zombies

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Yeah, I Said I Wasn’t Gonna Do This, But…

Jul 12

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As you may know (or may not  now but will have full knowledge of the facts that others have at their disposal by the time you finish the sentence that continues just after the closing parenthesis here), I’ve been struggling to finish the sequel to The Curse of Troius. I’ve been wrestling with it for over a year now and it’s mostly done but the last bit is going to really take every shred of skill I have as a writer and I’m just not good enough to do it right now.

While I’ve been engaged in mentally grappling with it, I’ve gotten an idea for my next project. I’m really excited by it. If you like my blog, then I think you’ll probably love it, since it takes the things that seem to mostly work here and puts them in a novel. Yes, it’s a zombie story.

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Posted in Kerfluffle

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Here’s a Whiny Personal Post You Don’t Care About, But It’s My Blog So Deal With It

Jul 6

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From last Wednesday (June 29th) to the 4th of July, I was on vacation. The purpose of that was mostly for a wedding on Saturday, one in which I was both the best man and also the officiant (which means I performed the ceremony – I’m a minister don’tchaknow). It also included my birthday and a BBQ blowout party for friends on Sunday. That’s why there were no posts here, why I wasn’t on Twitter or Facebook much, and why I didn’t read my personal email.

My birthday was good – low-key, the way I like it. Marking my progress to old age isn’t something I revel in, and I absolutely hate getting presents from anyone who isn’t my wife so low-key works for me. My wife is the greatest person in the world, and not only because she buys me books and toys for my birthday. That last part helps, though.

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Posted in Self Reflection

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An Interview with Steven Montano, Author of Blood Skies

Jun 28

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It’s a Me and My Shovel first today: a by-god interview with a real person instead of with fictional characters. It is my pleasure today to interview Steven Montano, author of Blood Skies, an apocalyptic vampire urban fantasy military novel. Trust me, it all makes sense. After you finish reading the interview, go to www.bloodskies.com and read more about it, including Tales of a Blood Earth, a series of unrelated (OR ARE THEY???) short stories set in the Blood Skies world. I’ve read the book, I give it 5 stars, and I recommend it to you as well. It’s because I enjoyed it so much that I pressured Steven to talk to me at length. And I do mean At Length; this is Me and My Shovel, after all, so get yourself another tasty beverage and get comfy.

Now, when you read this, imagine my voice is all deep and Barry-White-esque, and Steven’s got like this Michael Caine accent thing going. Trust me, it’ll sound cool.

Here we go!

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Posted in Interviews

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Blog Ideas I’ve Rejected In the Recent Past

Jun 27

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A lot of the time, I struggle with exactly what I’m going to write about at any given time. I imagine most bloggers feel the same way. Some of the time, though, an idea hits me and it’s so resonant inside my own head that it just flies out. Believe it or not, I don’t always write them, because of a sense of decorum.

Yes, I have one. It’s very small and goes by the name of Chester and is sad because of how little attention I give it.

But those ideas I’ve rejected in the past still rear up from time to time, eager to be written. I just know I can’t for one reason or another. As caustic as I can be, I avoid certain things just because I don’t necessarily want to come off as a loud, over-opinionated jerk with no regard to the feelings of others.

Hey, you can stop laughing anytime you want. It’s cool. I can wait.

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Posted in Kerfluffle

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I Am A Guest In Someone Else’s Bloghome

Jun 22

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First off: Steven Montano wrote an excellent book called Blood Skies which I highly recommend, and as soon as I have 2 usable neurons to rub together I’ll be writing up a review for it here. It’s apocalyptic fantasy with face-shredding vampires and magic. You can get it dirt cheap right now. So buy it, hard copy or for your e-reader. You won’t be disappointed.

For some godawful reason, though, Steven asked me to do a guest post for his site here. I tried to be good. I shot for charming, urbane, and witty. I ended up long-winded and foul-mouthed. I guess he knew what he was getting into, though, so while I ate all the canapes and drank the last of the milk, I’m kinda not really to blame. I hope.

So go here. Read the post if you want. Buy his book. Hug a panda.

I meant now. NOW. DIDDY MAO! DIDDY MAO!

Posted in Kerfluffle

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Too Long, Didn’t Read

Jun 21

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One of those Rules of Blogging that I never bother to follow is about post length. Supposedly, blog posts are supposed to be 400-600 words in length (that’s a total guess. I hate research. There’s this dude in my brain who looks like me and works like me, and when I wonder shit like “hey, what’s the ‘rule’ about post length again? How long?” the little Me looks up from the game he was playing or book he was reading or whatever he does when I don’t ask him shit and shrugs, takes a random guess at something someone in Memory once heard about, and goes back to what he’s doing. I should give him a raise. He’s my kinda guy.). The reason? People don’t have time to read anything longer than that. Anything after word 601 is just a blur of text that makes people feel all swoony. So unless they can see the end of the post from there, it’s too much. They have to stop reading RIGHT THEN. Some of those people are kind enough to warn the poor, misguided blogger that they’ve become a health menace, and so they take the time from their incredibly fast-paced, meaningful lives to comment on the post. Some will say Too Long, Didn’t Read – but that takes too much time to write. So instead, it’s become TL/DR.

And no, this isn’t a joke.

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Posted in Rantin' and Bitchin'

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A Friday Rant: Angsty Vampires

Jun 17

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First off, sorry it’s been so long since I rapped at ya (thanks, Jim Anchower) but, well, shit happens. This week, it happened for me a lot. Back to the show. Oh, and serious profanity ahead.

It’s ubiquitous now. It’s as ingrained in our culture as breathlessly reporting on the antics of a bunch of skanks and meatheads. It’s everywhere we go, everywhere we turn.

Angsty fucking vampires.

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Posted in Rantin' and Bitchin'

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Two Problems I Have with (Some) YA Fiction

Jun 9

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I’m gonna get the disclaimers out of the way first. I don’t have it out for Young Adult fiction. I respect the work that goes into it, because writing anything is hard. This post does NOT say anywhere that YA fiction sucks (except the three words before this parenthetical aside) or that it’s all terrible or anything like that. Some is terrible, certainly. But I am not attacking ALL YA fiction. I have some problems with every genre, from fantasy (chainmail bikinis! Dual-wielding rangers!) to science fiction (convoluted science-like mumbo-jumbo! Space-suit bikinis!) to zombie stuff (zombies with a twist! Survivors in bikinis!) and on and on. So just so we’re clear: I do not hate ALL YA fiction. Just some. Here’s why.

I’ve written a lot of shit in my day. Some would argue that it’s pretty much all I write, and to that I say, meh, okay, solid point. I’ve written training manuals, software help files, fantasy, horror, fantasy horror, fantasy training manuals of horror, exercise DVD reviews, football articles, farm tour memoirs, restaurant reviews – you get the point. I feel like I can write in pretty much any genre if I get inspired, from romance to fanfic to tourist guides and so forth. There is, however, one genre I could never write:

Young Adult fiction.

I can’t do it. I can’t imagine doing it. It would be impossible for me to have the perspective necessary to pull it off well. However, like any critic, I sure know how to bitch about something I can’t do.

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Posted in Rantin' and Bitchin'

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Oh, Just Publish the Fucking Thing Already

Jun 7

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This post is likely to be a minority view. It certainly goes against a lot of conventional wisdom. But it’s a viewpoint, maybe worthy of consideration, maybe not. Your mileage may etc etc.

I’ve been reading a lot lately about how other writers go through the process of putting words onto paper (both virtual and actual). Some of it is about how they write, what they listen to, their favorite chair. Other parts are about how they either plan to or already market their work. The rest of the time, though, it’s all about The Rest of It. The publishing aspect. Critiques. Discussions. Edits. The birth process from Unpublished to Published. The messy, bloody, screaming struggle to bring something into the world that fills you with joy and wonder, and eventually, the panicky thought what the fuck do I do now?

I want to talk about that part.

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Posted in Rantin' and Bitchin'

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