Blog Ideas I’ve Rejected In the Recent Past

A lot of the time, I struggle with exactly what I’m going to write about at any given time. I imagine most bloggers feel the same way. Some of the time, though, an idea hits me and it’s so resonant inside my own head that it just flies out. Believe it or not, I don’t always write them, because of a sense of decorum.

Yes, I have one. It’s very small and goes by the name of Chester and is sad because of how little attention I give it.

But those ideas I’ve rejected in the past still rear up from time to time, eager to be written. I just know I can’t for one reason or another. As caustic as I can be, I avoid certain things just because I don’t necessarily want to come off as a loud, over-opinionated jerk with no regard to the feelings of others.

Hey, you can stop laughing anytime you want. It’s cool. I can wait.

But the least I can do for these poor rejected ideas is to list them here. So, herewith are some of the ideas I’ve had that have never seen the light of day. For the most part, the titles themselves are self-explanatory enough that their potential to offend are obvious. Others I’ll provide commentary for and explain where I was going with them.

Rejected Post 1: How People Are Like Wolves, and You Are Not an Alpha

This idea came from a long and fun conversation with my wife, Lady Aravan, when we were examining the group dynamics of people. I decided against writing it just because I thought it might make people think I was arrogant. Since that wasn’t the point I was trying to make, I was afraid I couldn’t make it work. Although I think it could be still be funny.

Rejected Post 2: Children Will Ruin Your Life

I don’t have kids. I won’t have kids. Kids are not for me. I am so supremely happy with my life as a DINK (Double Income, No Kids) that I was going to try to have fun with the concept and extol all the reasons why children are soul-sucking parasites that feast on their parent’s carcasses until the last shred of useable flesh is stripped from their bones. Again, the plan was to be funny. I was afraid, though, that all the people with kids that read it would want to hang me, cripple me, or somehow force me to adopt theirs. The risk was too great.

Rejected Post 3: Have You Thanked Your Designated Drunk Driver Today?

This post was going to be about the person that gets stuck driving every time a group drinks too much to drive safely. Say the actual Designated Driver decides to have a drink to loosen up, then gets encouraged to keep going by the other party-goers, until everyone who has to get in the car is drunk. There’s usually one person that gets the nod time and again to be the driver, since everyone trusts that person to do it well. It was a post looking to thank that person. I rejected it because I know that drinking and driving is dangerous and evil and I didn’t want to be seen as encouraging the behavior or otherwise asking someone to post a comment about how serious the subject is and how many people die every year because of it and that I shouldn’t be making light of it.

Rejected Post 4: An In-Depth Analysis of the Washington Redskins QB Situation Going Into the 2011 Season

No one gives a shit.

Rejected Post 5: Some Things You Might Not Know About Me

No one gives a shit.

Rejected Post 6: I Really, Really Love You Guys, Seriously, No Wait Listen To Me

I was drunk.

Rejected Post 7: Things That Men Think But Won’t Tell Women Out of Fear and a Desire For Safety

This one is pretty self-explanatory. It would have included wisdom like: “Wearing flat shoes with a skirt is just sending a mixed message that isn’t appreciated by anyone.” Plus, there are secrets that other men would murder me for revealing. Bro Code or whatever.

So there ARE some things I won’t say here. Although by putting this post up, am I just saying them with a slightly different spin on it out of Fear and a Desire For Safety? Good question. So for my fellow bloggers/writers, what are some ideas you’ve rejected in the past for various reasons?

About Alan Edwards

Former cancer caregiver. Husband of the most magical and amazing person who ever lived.

Posted on June 27, 2011, in Kerfluffle and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. Solid gold. Sadly, I now want full fledged posts on all of these. Except that Redskins one. LOL I am not a sports enthusiast.

    P.S. Tell me more about how you really, really love us. But without all the slobber.

  2. Love this, thanks for the laughter when I’m only halfway through my first pot of coffee. 😉

    I’m pretty sure my idea for “Why I think women are dumb aka stop with the cutesy airheaded bullshit or I’m going to stab you through the internet.” wouldn’t have gone over well.

    As a parent with a streak of narcissism towards my evolved sense of humor, I think I’d have laughed at your “Kids are Parasites” post. They are, it’s just that some of us are masochistic enough to enjoy having the life sucked out of us or we are relishing releasing demons on an unsuspecting world who share our twisted world views. I made three more of me. MUAHAHAHAHA Take that! It’s like cloning but I didn’t have to get that pesky mad scientist degree.

  3. Funny you said this today – I just finished a blog that I am not sure I should post.

  4. Shout out for Chester. Word, Bro.

    And I want to see that post about children. I think those of us with kids would likely agree and secretly laugh, even if we felt we weren’t supposed to. =D

    • Chester does yeoman’s work. Whatever that means.

      And you might be right about the kids’ post. I would have to tread between the thin line of humor and seeming to gloat.

  5. This is too funny. But what’s wrong with wearing flat shoes with a skirt? I’ve never heard that before and am genuinely curious.

  6. The breaking down and spawning informs the “wearing flats with a skirt” post.

    *stares at non-calf-defining black flats and toddler*

    But I’m with Jen. I’d read all but the football post.

    Who am I kidding, I’ll read that, too. And nod and pretend to understand.

    • In it’s defense, the football post would be mostly just me ranting incoherently and cursing a lot, which even if you know nothing about football, says a lot about the Redskins’ 2011 QB situation.

  7. I filtered the QB situation through my husband, who’s versed in manly sporting things.

    He says “They’ve got a controversy as to who they are going to play. They signed, ohhh what’s his name from the Eagles. He doesn’t get along with the coach, so the coach would rather play this other idiot that’s not any better. Overall it doesn’t really matter because none of them are as good as the Steelers.”

    He might be biased though. 😉

    • He might be biased. He’s also definitely right. Those 3 sentences pretty accurately sums up what the post would have been, only I would have added 800 more words, most of them colorful curses.

      I married a die-hard Steelers fan, so I know for sure he’s right about that.

  8. I to censor my self….I censor myself so much that I havent posted a new blog in weeks.

    • Don’t I know it. Ever since The Clockwinder made his first appearance in Storm, he’s got no time to blog anymore or something.

  9. Don’t worry about offending people with children. We all secretly think we are superior (it’s a defense mechanism, really). The worst that would happen is that all the parents would glance knowingly at each other after reading your article, secure in their superiority in continuing the race, while secretly counting the hours until the last off-spring finishes college.

  10. I love your sense of humor. Hmm, I was tempted to write a post about my anger and going on a cyber rant and saying everything imaginable. And, no, I wasn’t drunk, just mad. Fuming. Good thing I got over it. For now!

  11. There is nothing I won’t say. Okay, maybe there are a few things I won’t say…actually, no. I will say anything.

    I wouldn’t have had a problem with any of these post ideas except for the drunk driving one. Not sure why, but that really bugs me. I’ve been in a car before with a drunk driver, and I will NEVER do it again. EVER. Drink all you want, but don’t get behind the wheel and put other people’s lives at stake. Period.

    Woo, sorry, that one got me riled up. On to funner ‘n hell stuff…KIDS. Yeah, I have 3 of them, and I’ll be the first to tell you they’re not for everyone. So good on ya for not wanting the little bastards and following through on your promise not to deliver. I fully respect people who choose to remain kid-free. I was one of those people for *many* years, so I totally understand it. And I secretly sometimes wish I was one of you. Like in May, June, July, and part of August. When I want to gouge my eyes out with hot pokers, barbeque them, and eat them. *Stomach growls*

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