Category Archives: Kerfluffle

Cover Art Reveal for Kendall Grey’s JUST BREATHE Novel, Complete with Behind the Scenes Stuff

May 4

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Kendall Grey knows how to do shit right. She’s organized, has a plan, executes it, all while maintaining her sarcasm-slinging attitude and foul-mouthed proclivities. In comparison to her, I am a slacking lazy bum who can barely raise the energy to write a blog post.

Of course, I’m a slacker compared to Spicolli, so that’s not the highest of praise, either.

Anyway, Kendall’s new cover art for the third and final book in her Just Breathe urban fantasy trilogy is being revealed today. Because I adore her muchly, I want to share it with you, my loyal readers – by that I mean my wife and the same Peruvian farmer who keeps asking “¿Cuál es la mejor pala?” – and pimp out a pretty killer damn cover.

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My SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER Thoughts About Mass Effect 3’s Ending (UPDATED)

Mar 19

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I’m going to go ahead and talk about the ending of Mass Effect 3 and their curious decision to have Chewbacca appear at the very end of the game and lead everyone in the Macarena while the blue elephant plays his round piano. Yes, I know that didn’t happen, but I didn’t want the preview thing to show any actual spoilers to ruin someone else’s experience. I will wait until after the jump, which is right here.

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Roger Goodell, Pink Slime, and How They are Related

Roger Goodell, Pink Slime, and How They are Related

Mar 14

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First off, apologies for no reviews for the last 2 Walking Dead episodes. I am still in full Mass Effect, so I have watched exactly 1 television show since last Tuesday (Archer, of course. How you say, push the rope?) so I am behind. Avoiding spoilers for Walking Dead and Mass Effect 3 hasn’t been easy, and even averting my eyes hasn’t stopped me from seeing little bits and pieces I wish I hadn’t. So anyway, hopefully I’ll get those episodes down and digested and reviewed soon. I do know this: based off the little I’ve heard, those two reviews may be the most bile-filled spewing of hate of them all.

Back to the news.

You probably don’t care about what I’m about to talk about. It involves professional football bargaining agreements, salary cap discussions, the Washington Redskins, and the NFL commissioner Roger Goodell’s big ole swingin’ dick. There are other fun subjects after that, including fanboy gushing over Robert Griffin the Third as well as some scrumptious and delectable ponderings over ammonia-washed “beef” “trimmings” that get turned into goo and added to ground beef to make meat cheaper. It’s a fun-filled potpourri of goodness!

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V-Day, Whitney, and Other Random Stuff

Feb 14

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I haven’t gotten a chance to watch The Walking Dead yet, but I plan on doing so soon and posting my heartfelt and warm fuzzy feelings about it. So in the meantime, I’ll just spew some random things circulating around my head on this lovely Valentine’s Day.

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Lana Del Ray and Other Ephemera

Feb 2

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Not to imply that Lana Del Ray is ephemeral. Of course, in the cosmic sense she is, but so are all of us, and if you think of our world as a pebble on a beach of blah blah insert philosophical bullshit here. I just wanted to make a post, which I haven’t done in a while, and I figured it would probably be about random shit off the top of my head, said thoughts to be considered transitory and not really lasting and therefore ephemeral. Maybe Lana Del Ray is going to be ephemeral. I’m not here to say. Anyway.

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My Day As A Crackhead, In Photos

Dec 1

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I wrote a while ago about playing Crackhead For a Day as part of a law-enforcement training program run by the fine folks of Center Mass Combat Tactics. Now that my failed foray into NaNoWriMo is over, and I don’t particularly feel like doing various reconciliations of various dollar amounts in various categories, I am pleased to present to you some pictures of the event.

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What I Did Over My Vacation

Nov 28

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I went on vacation Thursday, November 17th. Here is a list of things I did.

  • Flew on Southwest Airlines, just like I do every four years. Four years is enough time for me to forget why I hate flying Southwest. The airline has a lot going for it: free bag check, the friendliest and coolest flight attendants I’ve ever seen, cheap fares, and a direct flight to Fort Myers, Florida. I’d happily fly Southwest if I was traveling alone. However, flying Southwest hoping that you’ll be able to sit with your wife is apparently too much to ask for. We barely managed to do it on the return trip that we were advised had plenty of room by sitting in the very last row. Why Southwest doesn’t let you pick your seats is beyond me.
  • Bought an incredibly tacky Florida outfit with cream-colored pants, a shirt with palm trees, and a pair of shoes that are so hideous they’re actually kinda cool. I did this because of a game we played where I was… you know what? Never mind. I Will Not Tell You About My Character, as a gesture of kindness.
  • Got wasted on spiked punch, entirely by accident. Here’s a tip: if someone tells you the punch is spiked, ask if it’s grain alcohol doing the spiking BEFORE drinking multiple 16-ounce glasses of it with a straw.
  • Spent time with my in-laws. High point: shooting an AR-15. Low point: being forced to watch the Countdown to the Something-or-Other Music Awards while the in-laws comment the entire time that they don’t know who any of those people on TV are and insist on watching anyway.
  • Installed a new wireless router.
  • Watched 20 Stephen Lynch videos in a row.
  • Finished Assassin’s Creed (finally), played through Alan Wake again, plus 2 downloaded episodes. Played Arrival DLC for Mass Effect 2. Dreamed of Skyrim.
  • Cooked a huge Thanksgiving spread with my wife for the two of us. Leftovers now threaten to reach critical mass. Discovered that too much Xylitol in cranberry sauce can create a laxative effect. Yes, yes it can.

Things I did not do during my vacation:

  • Check email. I had over 200 emails in my inbox this morning.
  • Watch The Walking Dead. I am now 3 episodes behind. I WILL watch them and review them all. I have too much fun not too.
  • Write enough for NaNoWriMo. The 3 days before vacation were hectic from work and my car deciding that it liked the front window down so much that it refused to let it go up again. Rental cars and racing around and mass chaos ensued. So no writing at all those three days. Then no writing at all while in Florida. Then none on Tuesday after we got back. Then some on Wednesday. Then none on Thanksgiving day. Then a bunch on Friday. Then none after. I am NaNo fail. Unless a miracle happens, like November getting a one-week extension, I’m not gonna make it. Sadness. At least I have gotten a lot in on Waiting on the Dead. Just not gonna be 50k in 30 days.

I’d say it’s good to be back, but since I have to be back at work that would be a lie. It IS nice to chat with you all again.

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NaNoWriMo 2011 Update

Nov 5

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So far, so good. Waiting on the Dead is coming along nicely so far. I’ve hit the quota each day so far, averaging about 1,780 words a day. I’m actually doing better than any previous attempt I’ve made, which is cool. I’m sitting at 8,919 words as of now, and the story as a whole is past the 13,000 word mark, which I’m quite happy with. A lot of the people I know are WAY ahead of me, like in the tens of thousands, and I hate those people.

Just kidding! ❤ you guys.

I may post an excerpt eventually, like I did with Curse and Storm. Not sure yet. I’m having a blast writing it, though.

And my Raphaelo’s tee-shirt has shipped. I can’t wait.

So to my other NaNoWriMo brethren, keep kicking ass! We got this. A 50,000 word novel in a month is nuthin we can’t handle.

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Hey Look! Overpriced Crap!

Nov 3

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You may have noticed… oh, you didn’t? OK, well, move your eyes over to the right side of the screen. There. Yep, now, below the book cover… almost… there you go! By now you’ve seen the picture of a t-shirt on the right side there. That’s right! You now have the opportunity to purchase the EXACT SAME SHIRT worn by the protagonist of Waiting on the Dead: A Zombie Survivor’s Story. You too can pretend to be a server at Raphaelo’s, just like the guy in that book you haven’t read because it’s not finished yet. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT? On the pocket you have the name of the restaurant and in fine print below the name of the book. On the back the restaurant’s slogan – OUR FOOD IS OFFAL – is prominently displayed with the full book title in fine print below. And it comes in a multitude of colors like black! And black! Or even black!

How awesome is that?! It’s what all the cool kids some people I’m wearing! Well, and my wife, because I bought her one. That’s right! It comes in a fashionable v-neck for the ladies! What are you waiting for?! Besides dementia, incipient lottery winnings, the urge to waste your hard-won money, the book to actually come out, the loss of good taste, anything else in the world remotely worth spending money on, a relative that you hate and want to give a useless gift to, or a million other reasons?! Oh. OK. That makes sense, then.

From Waiting on the Dead:

There was a lot of grumpy sullenness as we took our new uniform shirts: tight black tees that said “Our Food is Offal” across the back. Let me tell you, it was seriously offal. It smelled offal, tasted offal, looked offal, and was offally expensive.

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NaNoWriMo 2011, and On Being a Crackhead for a Day

Nov 1

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It’s November 1st, so that means me and a whole lot of other crazy people are going to try to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days as part of National Novel Writing Month. I’ll personally be attempting to get as much of Waiting on the Dead completed in November as humanly possible, because I think it’ll be quite a bit longer than 50k when it’s all said and done. All of this is a roundabout way of saying that my blogging in November might be a little sparser than normal.

I will, however, still be doing my weekly Walking Dead wrapup specials. I like those too much to stop. Episode 3 will be coming tomorrow, since I haven’t watched it yet.

So am I ready, pumped, and excited? Not yet, honestly. Halloween weekend was very busy for us, since we try to do a big costume party every year which means the day before and day of are so hectic cleaning and decorating and cooking and all that. Plus, my wife and I got the opportunity to take part in a law enforcement training class, playing the part of crackheads as part of a search warrant and seizure training conducted by Center Mass Combat Tactics, a company that provides firearm and tactical training from beginning pistol courses to full-on police tactical courses.

About a dozen of us went to a police-owned run-down abandoned house. Some of us were given fake guns and told to hide in various places in the house. The officers would be busting in and our job was to try to hide, sneak past weapons, be belligerent (verbally), and basically give them a hard time and stress them out as much as possible. The place we were in was a filthy hole and I hid in the attic and apparently laid in a nest of stinkbugs for 15 minutes, then proceeded to f-bomb and antagonize the officers as creatively as I could. Then we got to see the instructors go through the critique of the officers’ performance. I respected the fact that these officers place themselves in dangerous situations voluntarily before the training exercise, but actually seeing and being a part of a simulated operation as the target really reinforced the point. It takes a hell of a lot of courage, guts, and balls to potentially need to deal with this kind of event on any given day at a moment’s notice. Law enforcement officials have always had my respect, but that deepened even further after being a potential deranged suspect and seeing their work close-up.

Plus, trying to hide inside a house that has officers declaring their intention to enter in no uncertain terms, followed 15 seconds later by the slam of a ram against the door and it busting open and loud voices and pounding feet will really get the ole heart pumping. There were pictures being taken for the event, so I’ll be sure to post me and my crackhead buddies for your amusement. Of course I had to dress the part.

Anyway, good luck fellow NaNoers. 50k in 30 days – you got this.

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