Monthly Archives: November 2011

Baby Drama, Guns, and Tattletales: Walking Dead S2 Ep 6

Nov 30

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We’re almost there! Nearly caught up! I almost watched Episode 7 directly after Episode 6 last night, because for the first time in a while I was eager to see what was going to happen next. That’s a good sign. I decided to stick with the original plan I had, though, since if I watched more than one at once I was afraid that I get mixed up and that reviews for the earlier episodes would be colored by later ones. So, tonight I’ll watch Ep 7. I’m actually looking forward to it. Huh.

Which is odd, because it wasn’t like Episode 6 was awesome or anything. In fact, I find it hard to remember exactly what happened in a lot of it. The talky parts were pretty dull for the most part. I think what carried the episode for me was Shane, since Fuckin’ Daryl was reduced to a single glimpse of him in a tent. It also featured something that was awesomely realistic and true to life, which I appreciated since they didn’t have to do it.

The downside of this episode for me was once again Glenn (I finally saw how it’s really spelled! God I’m too lazy for this job.). He was asked last episode to keep a secret by two different people, including the girl who has been kind and desperate enough to bang him. But this week we learn that he is “without guile” and apparently even the thought of maybe having to lie to someone makes him uncomfortable and awkward and pained and moronic. So this guy has never been able to keep a secret, eh? I can picture him now: as a young teen, going to the dinner table, his father asking how his day was, and Glenn blurting, “I smacked off to the Sears catalog.” With his first girlfriend, who asks if her jeans make her look fat, “No, it’s all the French fries you eat that makes your ass so big and gross.” To a cop that pulls him over, “Yes, I know how fast I was going, and if you hadn’t pulled me over I’d have been doing at least 90.” I mean, OK, I get it, he’s supposed to be such a good guy that he can’t lie. So when Lori asked him the first fucking time to be discrete and he agreed, why didn’t he bring it up then? Does he not know that “discrete” pretty much means “keep your fucking mouth shut”? I think they overdid his truthiness thing in this episode to the degree that it became completely unbelievable.

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Blah Blah Talky Talky – Walking Dead S2 Ep5

Nov 29

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Since I was on vacation, I didn’t get a chance to watch this episode til last night, so it’s not timely or anything, but whatever. Suck it up. I’ll be catching up with Episode 6 tomorrow, then Episode 7 Thursday, then we’ll be all caught up and everything and YAY.

My general impressions of this episode were boredom, followed by a serious WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE moment, then pretty much nothing after that. This episode seemed mostly to be about people talking and making faces at each other, interspersed with shooting friends in the head. I’ll be going over the episode in as much detail as I can handle, in no particular order. So I won’t be doing a moment-by-moment run-through but will instead, as usual, go with the major themes in the episode.

Oh, and try to stay awake.

The episode begins with a flashback showing how Lori hooked up with the chick with the shaved head. Oh, not “hooked up” like, you know, the horizontal kind’ve way, but more like met up. And I will not pursue that line any more. I’ve already erased three sentences. Suffice it to say that Lori and What’s-Her-Face are not exactly people I’d want to see hooking up. Anyway, Shane and Lori watch them napalm a city I can only imagine is supposed to be Atlanta. You get to see Shane do his weird sideways lope as he moves along. I have no idea what this scene is supposed to show us. That these people met somewhere and that Shane isn’t Carl’s dad? Yeah, we figured that one out already, thanks.

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What I Did Over My Vacation

Nov 28

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I went on vacation Thursday, November 17th. Here is a list of things I did.

  • Flew on Southwest Airlines, just like I do every four years. Four years is enough time for me to forget why I hate flying Southwest. The airline has a lot going for it: free bag check, the friendliest and coolest flight attendants I’ve ever seen, cheap fares, and a direct flight to Fort Myers, Florida. I’d happily fly Southwest if I was traveling alone. However, flying Southwest hoping that you’ll be able to sit with your wife is apparently too much to ask for. We barely managed to do it on the return trip that we were advised had plenty of room by sitting in the very last row. Why Southwest doesn’t let you pick your seats is beyond me.
  • Bought an incredibly tacky Florida outfit with cream-colored pants, a shirt with palm trees, and a pair of shoes that are so hideous they’re actually kinda cool. I did this because of a game we played where I was… you know what? Never mind. I Will Not Tell You About My Character, as a gesture of kindness.
  • Got wasted on spiked punch, entirely by accident. Here’s a tip: if someone tells you the punch is spiked, ask if it’s grain alcohol doing the spiking BEFORE drinking multiple 16-ounce glasses of it with a straw.
  • Spent time with my in-laws. High point: shooting an AR-15. Low point: being forced to watch the Countdown to the Something-or-Other Music Awards while the in-laws comment the entire time that they don’t know who any of those people on TV are and insist on watching anyway.
  • Installed a new wireless router.
  • Watched 20 Stephen Lynch videos in a row.
  • Finished Assassin’s Creed (finally), played through Alan Wake again, plus 2 downloaded episodes. Played Arrival DLC for Mass Effect 2. Dreamed of Skyrim.
  • Cooked a huge Thanksgiving spread with my wife for the two of us. Leftovers now threaten to reach critical mass. Discovered that too much Xylitol in cranberry sauce can create a laxative effect. Yes, yes it can.

Things I did not do during my vacation:

  • Check email. I had over 200 emails in my inbox this morning.
  • Watch The Walking Dead. I am now 3 episodes behind. I WILL watch them and review them all. I have too much fun not too.
  • Write enough for NaNoWriMo. The 3 days before vacation were hectic from work and my car deciding that it liked the front window down so much that it refused to let it go up again. Rental cars and racing around and mass chaos ensued. So no writing at all those three days. Then no writing at all while in Florida. Then none on Tuesday after we got back. Then some on Wednesday. Then none on Thanksgiving day. Then a bunch on Friday. Then none after. I am NaNo fail. Unless a miracle happens, like November getting a one-week extension, I’m not gonna make it. Sadness. At least I have gotten a lot in on Waiting on the Dead. Just not gonna be 50k in 30 days.

I’d say it’s good to be back, but since I have to be back at work that would be a lie. It IS nice to chat with you all again.

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Glenn Gets Some! Walking Dead S2 Episode 4 Review

Nov 9

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I got around to watching Episode 4 last night. The reason why I didn’t get to watch it Monday night is twofold: I wasn’t in the mood to, and more importantly, my lovely wife wanted to play Assassin’s Creed. So when I got home last night, she asked if I planned on watching it, I nodded, and she told me that I’d better get my ass in gear so she could get back to assassinatin’. In other news, my wife is uber cool.

Overall, this episode felt really sluggish. Nothing really great seemed to happen, and for a while nothing awful did either. Thankfully, there was a dash of both as it progressed. The episode began with the funeral scene. I think. For the purposes of this exercise, we’ll go ahead and say it did. People were piling rocks to make a grave for Otis, only it’s not really a grave and more a memorial, since I don’t think anyone went back for his shambling corpse. I wondered if the pile of rocks was something they did for everyone that had died so far and they just added more to the top, because otherwise that is one serious fuckload of rocks if you’re not actually burying anything. I mean, it was like 5 feet high.

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NaNoWriMo 2011 Update

Nov 5

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So far, so good. Waiting on the Dead is coming along nicely so far. I’ve hit the quota each day so far, averaging about 1,780 words a day. I’m actually doing better than any previous attempt I’ve made, which is cool. I’m sitting at 8,919 words as of now, and the story as a whole is past the 13,000 word mark, which I’m quite happy with. A lot of the people I know are WAY ahead of me, like in the tens of thousands, and I hate those people.

Just kidding! ❤ you guys.

I may post an excerpt eventually, like I did with Curse and Storm. Not sure yet. I’m having a blast writing it, though.

And my Raphaelo’s tee-shirt has shipped. I can’t wait.

So to my other NaNoWriMo brethren, keep kicking ass! We got this. A 50,000 word novel in a month is nuthin we can’t handle.

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Hey Look! Overpriced Crap!

Nov 3

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You may have noticed… oh, you didn’t? OK, well, move your eyes over to the right side of the screen. There. Yep, now, below the book cover… almost… there you go! By now you’ve seen the picture of a t-shirt on the right side there. That’s right! You now have the opportunity to purchase the EXACT SAME SHIRT worn by the protagonist of Waiting on the Dead: A Zombie Survivor’s Story. You too can pretend to be a server at Raphaelo’s, just like the guy in that book you haven’t read because it’s not finished yet. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT? On the pocket you have the name of the restaurant and in fine print below the name of the book. On the back the restaurant’s slogan – OUR FOOD IS OFFAL – is prominently displayed with the full book title in fine print below. And it comes in a multitude of colors like black! And black! Or even black!

How awesome is that?! It’s what all the cool kids some people I’m wearing! Well, and my wife, because I bought her one. That’s right! It comes in a fashionable v-neck for the ladies! What are you waiting for?! Besides dementia, incipient lottery winnings, the urge to waste your hard-won money, the book to actually come out, the loss of good taste, anything else in the world remotely worth spending money on, a relative that you hate and want to give a useless gift to, or a million other reasons?! Oh. OK. That makes sense, then.

From Waiting on the Dead:

There was a lot of grumpy sullenness as we took our new uniform shirts: tight black tees that said “Our Food is Offal” across the back. Let me tell you, it was seriously offal. It smelled offal, tasted offal, looked offal, and was offally expensive.

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Shane Makes Up For Last Week: Walking Dead Season 2 Episode 3

Nov 2

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Can one scene make up for 55 minutes of mediocrity, dull conversations, pointless arguments, and a plot advancing at the rate of golden syrup oozing over a sweet buttery muffin (I had to fast for some lab work this morning, so bear with me)? I guess this episode of AMC’s The Walking Dead will do its damnedest to answer that question.

By the way, this is laid out roughly chronologically but I’m sure I’ve got shit mixed up in the middle somewhere.

The episode begins with Shirtless Shane, a running shower, closeups of his still-toned body (seriously, when does he get a chance to get enough nutrition and time to work out in the apocalypse? It’s been at least a few weeks, right? Everyone else is getting skinner. Shane is a-gettin’ buffier), and McShane shaving his head to get a good proper Maniacal Face going. What struck me was how callous he was about dumping his greasy man-hair all over the sink and poor exposed bar of soap. Other people have to use that bar of soap, you greedy non-hair-washing-for-a-month asshole. It probably looks like it’s covered in pubes now. One of those poor women is going to have to make a whole new batch out of manure or wherever it is soap comes from.

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NaNoWriMo 2011, and On Being a Crackhead for a Day

Nov 1

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It’s November 1st, so that means me and a whole lot of other crazy people are going to try to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days as part of National Novel Writing Month. I’ll personally be attempting to get as much of Waiting on the Dead completed in November as humanly possible, because I think it’ll be quite a bit longer than 50k when it’s all said and done. All of this is a roundabout way of saying that my blogging in November might be a little sparser than normal.

I will, however, still be doing my weekly Walking Dead wrapup specials. I like those too much to stop. Episode 3 will be coming tomorrow, since I haven’t watched it yet.

So am I ready, pumped, and excited? Not yet, honestly. Halloween weekend was very busy for us, since we try to do a big costume party every year which means the day before and day of are so hectic cleaning and decorating and cooking and all that. Plus, my wife and I got the opportunity to take part in a law enforcement training class, playing the part of crackheads as part of a search warrant and seizure training conducted by Center Mass Combat Tactics, a company that provides firearm and tactical training from beginning pistol courses to full-on police tactical courses.

About a dozen of us went to a police-owned run-down abandoned house. Some of us were given fake guns and told to hide in various places in the house. The officers would be busting in and our job was to try to hide, sneak past weapons, be belligerent (verbally), and basically give them a hard time and stress them out as much as possible. The place we were in was a filthy hole and I hid in the attic and apparently laid in a nest of stinkbugs for 15 minutes, then proceeded to f-bomb and antagonize the officers as creatively as I could. Then we got to see the instructors go through the critique of the officers’ performance. I respected the fact that these officers place themselves in dangerous situations voluntarily before the training exercise, but actually seeing and being a part of a simulated operation as the target really reinforced the point. It takes a hell of a lot of courage, guts, and balls to potentially need to deal with this kind of event on any given day at a moment’s notice. Law enforcement officials have always had my respect, but that deepened even further after being a potential deranged suspect and seeing their work close-up.

Plus, trying to hide inside a house that has officers declaring their intention to enter in no uncertain terms, followed 15 seconds later by the slam of a ram against the door and it busting open and loud voices and pounding feet will really get the ole heart pumping. There were pictures being taken for the event, so I’ll be sure to post me and my crackhead buddies for your amusement. Of course I had to dress the part.

Anyway, good luck fellow NaNoers. 50k in 30 days – you got this.

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