15k in 15 Day: The Humiliation is Chosen

Thanks to everyone who made a suggestion. It’s really nice when people come out to lend a hand, suggesting awful things for another person to perform for their amusement as they bask in the glow of another’s failure. I appreciate it, and that’s not even being said sarcastically.

I’ve decided on the Humiliation that will happen if I fail. To quote the author of Blood Skies and its sequel Black Scars, Steven Montano:

If you fail, you’ll have to attend the opening of the new TWILIGHT movie.

You have to go dressed up as Edward…wearing an Edward tee-shirt…and with Edward glitter on your face.

I believe the film opens in November, so you’ll get a full month-and-a-half to look forward to the experience. =D

I’ll even go one better. If I fail my goal of 15,000 words by October 1st, then I will attend the opening of the new Twilight movie wearing my wife’s Team Edward t-shirt (she’s a lot smaller than me, so I think it’ll end up as a belly shirt [shudder]), black skin-tight pleather pants, knee-high boots, body glitter, vampire teeth, and eye makeup. The event will be filmed (although probably not by my wife, who I imagine will be holding her hands over her eyes for 4 straight hours as she shakes her head at me). The film will be posted on YouTube. I will want to eat glass until I die. I may get arrested as a suspected pedo.

The good news for me is that I can prevent it by finishing those 15k words. The good news for you is that I am currently behind on the pace I need to do it.

And for suggesting the “winning” Humiliation, Steven will get a free copy of The Storm of Northreach when it’s done. Of course, he was already getting a free copy of it, so it’s kind’ve anticlimactic, but I will also send him a SIGNED COPY in paperback. So, you know, there’s that.

About Alan Edwards

Former cancer caregiver. Husband of the most magical and amazing person who ever lived.

Posted on September 20, 2011, in Kerfluffle and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Wow. How can we all go about ensuring you fail?!?!

  2. WIN!!!! =D

    Should I be disturbed that the first online contest I’ve won was because I was the one who came up with the cruelest thing to do to a friend of mine? ;D

  3. Today is the best day ever.

  4. Too bad we don’t all live close by. I’d be game to dress up and go en masse to this, kind of like the new “Rocky Horror” thing 😉

  5. Do I dare say this? Yes, I dare. I think you secretly WANT to fail. You’re secretly DYING to be Edward with the glitter, belly shirt, and all. Hahahahaha! Looking forward to the video. I’m sure you are too. HAHAHAHAHA! *Rubs hands together eagerly* 😉

    • Oh, dost thou darest?! =P

      I’ll give you one thing, dressing up like an idiot is nothing new to me. Hell, you have access to my photos on Facebook, so you probably know that already. That part of it isn’t mind-jarringly awful. HOWEVER. There is probably no group of people on earth I feel more venomous towards than tweeners and Twilight fans. So to go among them, drawing their attention, and then forced to watch a hackneyed piece of shit movie in that getup? No. No way. I’m going to win. I Joe Namath Guarantee that shit right now.

      God I love you guys, haha.

  6. HAHAHA…nice. I want to see you go ape-shit on a bunch of Twilight fans. That would make my fucking year. (So long as you were in no way harmed or incarcerated, of course.)

  1. Pingback: Author Interview: Alan Edwards :blood skies

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: