Blog Archives
The Shane and Rick Episode: Walking Dead S2 Ep10 Review
Posted by Alan Edwards
Last week, the episode ended with Lori whispering sweet and earnest words of love and commitment and how very necessary it was that her husband shoot Shane in the face. This left me wondering if there would be a showdown this week, Shane vs. Rick, the winner getting his just reward of sweet, blissful death and release from a horrible world and loser forced to take on the responsibility for taking care of the screeching harpy they are for some reason fighting over.
I’ve been calling Lori a harpy for a while now, and other reviews I’ve read of this show also seem to frequently use the term in relation to her. So I decided to Google Walking+Dead+Lori+Harpy. It got over 50,000 results. Honestly, I would have expected more.
Anyway, this episode ended up being all about Rick and Shane “settling” their differences, along with a side helping of Suicide Watch and the usual smattering of “what the fuck were they thinking” plans that are the true hallmark of this show.
It’s Back, and Fast-Paced As Ever: Walking Dead S2 Ep 8
Posted by Alan Edwards
America’s favorite, and only, zombie series on TV returned this past Sunday. The last episode had ended with a climactic massacre of a barnful of “walkers”, culminating in the reveal of Sophia’s walking corpse and Rick’s dispatch of it. It was an exciting part in Season 2, which was a rarity in this bloated, shambling mess of episodes. Would Episode 8 pick up where the last one ended, full of action and suspense and gun-fightin’?
Well, yes and no. It picked up from the exact end of the last episode. Fifty-eight minutes later, there was action. Sigh.
The Forever Lazy Commercial Makes Me Hate America
Posted by Alan Edwards
I saw this commercial last night on TV. For a while I thought it was an ingenious parody, poking fun at the Snuggie Era we find ourselves in. No self-respecting adult would wear such a ridiculous outfit, the whole idea was laughable, the scenes with people watching football in this low-crotched Dr. Seuss Whoville suit trying to look cool, the zip-flap to do your “duty” – it was a priceless, brilliant parody of the ridiculous nature of As Seen On TV consumerism.
Then it hit me. This isn’t fake. This is 100% for fucking real.
What. The. Fuck.
The Hobbit Trailer Review, Fueled by NerdRage
Posted by Alan Edwards

The One True Hobbit.
I watched the trailer for The Hobbit yesterday. It was all over my Facebook feed, since many of my friends are hardcore nerds like me. The people who posted about it were excited and seemed to really like it. I was apprehensive. I’d seen some stills of the dwarves before, and I wasn’t particularly wowed by them. It looked like someone had set up a Glamour Shots in the Shire’s newest mini-mall. But I was still somewhat hopeful, but I have to admit that most of my dreams of a great adaptation of one of my favorite books went bye-bye when I learned that Peter Jackson was behind it.
Blasphemy! you say. Peter Jackson made the most awesomest wickedest LOTR films ever! He brought them to a mainstream audience! HE IS OUR NEW GEORGE LUCAS!
Posted in Rantin' and Bitchin', Reviews
Tags: Annoying Things, Nerdery, RAGE, Reviews, Two Minutes' Hate
Blah Blah Talky Talky – Walking Dead S2 Ep5
Posted by Alan Edwards
Since I was on vacation, I didn’t get a chance to watch this episode til last night, so it’s not timely or anything, but whatever. Suck it up. I’ll be catching up with Episode 6 tomorrow, then Episode 7 Thursday, then we’ll be all caught up and everything and YAY.
My general impressions of this episode were boredom, followed by a serious WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE moment, then pretty much nothing after that. This episode seemed mostly to be about people talking and making faces at each other, interspersed with shooting friends in the head. I’ll be going over the episode in as much detail as I can handle, in no particular order. So I won’t be doing a moment-by-moment run-through but will instead, as usual, go with the major themes in the episode.
Oh, and try to stay awake.
The episode begins with a flashback showing how Lori hooked up with the chick with the shaved head. Oh, not “hooked up” like, you know, the horizontal kind’ve way, but more like met up. And I will not pursue that line any more. I’ve already erased three sentences. Suffice it to say that Lori and What’s-Her-Face are not exactly people I’d want to see hooking up. Anyway, Shane and Lori watch them napalm a city I can only imagine is supposed to be Atlanta. You get to see Shane do his weird sideways lope as he moves along. I have no idea what this scene is supposed to show us. That these people met somewhere and that Shane isn’t Carl’s dad? Yeah, we figured that one out already, thanks.
Glenn Gets Some! Walking Dead S2 Episode 4 Review
Posted by Alan Edwards
I got around to watching Episode 4 last night. The reason why I didn’t get to watch it Monday night is twofold: I wasn’t in the mood to, and more importantly, my lovely wife wanted to play Assassin’s Creed. So when I got home last night, she asked if I planned on watching it, I nodded, and she told me that I’d better get my ass in gear so she could get back to assassinatin’. In other news, my wife is uber cool.
Overall, this episode felt really sluggish. Nothing really great seemed to happen, and for a while nothing awful did either. Thankfully, there was a dash of both as it progressed. The episode began with the funeral scene. I think. For the purposes of this exercise, we’ll go ahead and say it did. People were piling rocks to make a grave for Otis, only it’s not really a grave and more a memorial, since I don’t think anyone went back for his shambling corpse. I wondered if the pile of rocks was something they did for everyone that had died so far and they just added more to the top, because otherwise that is one serious fuckload of rocks if you’re not actually burying anything. I mean, it was like 5 feet high.
Shane Makes Up For Last Week: Walking Dead Season 2 Episode 3
Posted by Alan Edwards
Can one scene make up for 55 minutes of mediocrity, dull conversations, pointless arguments, and a plot advancing at the rate of golden syrup oozing over a sweet buttery muffin (I had to fast for some lab work this morning, so bear with me)? I guess this episode of AMC’s The Walking Dead will do its damnedest to answer that question.
By the way, this is laid out roughly chronologically but I’m sure I’ve got shit mixed up in the middle somewhere.
The episode begins with Shirtless Shane, a running shower, closeups of his still-toned body (seriously, when does he get a chance to get enough nutrition and time to work out in the apocalypse? It’s been at least a few weeks, right? Everyone else is getting skinner. Shane is a-gettin’ buffier), and McShane shaving his head to get a good proper Maniacal Face going. What struck me was how callous he was about dumping his greasy man-hair all over the sink and poor exposed bar of soap. Other people have to use that bar of soap, you greedy non-hair-washing-for-a-month asshole. It probably looks like it’s covered in pubes now. One of those poor women is going to have to make a whole new batch out of manure or wherever it is soap comes from.
Hey, I’ve Got a Great Plan: Walking Dead Season 2 Episode 2
Posted by Alan Edwards
OK. I was very hopeful after the first episode that things in Walking Dead Land would get better. In truth, I did like this episode more overall than the first, but it still had some pretty glaring problems. And for the record, I didn’t read the comic books this series is based on, so if they’re following the books to the letter (which they aren’t) and you want to say that the things they are depicting happened in the comic books, that’s fine. It doesn’t make the story problems magically go away. But anyway.
The episode starts with a flashback. Why, I’m not sure, since the flashback told us things that we already knew: Grimes gets shot, his partner the Ma-Shane tells his wife, who then tells her kid. We never saw it happen, but it seemed reasonable to assume that it would happen roughly along those lines. Maybe they thought we forgot he was shot and in a coma despite being reminded of it every single time Shane and that harpy of a wife have a conversation. Maybe they wanted to illustrate how difficult and heart-wrenching it is to be told that a family member you love has been shot, which I think most people probably would intuitively understand. Or perhaps they wanted to show that Shane wanted to bang his buddy’s wife and Rick and the harridan were having marital problems before he was shot, but the fact that the two started humping pretty quickly also does a good job of suggesting that perhaps there was some sort of attraction there. Most likely, I think the writers felt they needed a huge sign that says LOOK AT THE JUXTAPOSITION AND ROLE REVERSAL HERE! because they believe the average television viewer is dumb as fuck.
Posted in Rantin' and Bitchin', Zombies
Tags: Annoying Things, People Are Idiots, TV, Zombies
My Thoughts on The Walking Dead, Season 2 Episode 1
Posted by Alan Edwards
I don’t know if I’ll do this for every episode of the AMC series, but I had enough thoughts about the first episode that I figured I’d babble on about them. At least I think I have enough thoughts. It’s really early and I’m tired so maybe I just have one thought bouncing in my head and it’s I LIKE CHEESE and this post will end up moldering in the Drafts area for a few months before it gets thrown out like a 7-year-old box of baking soda that hangs out in the fridge for some nebulous reason like “fighting odor” when I’m not really sure what odors there are to combat in a refrigerator but ANYWAY.
So, Walking Dead is back. I watched it last night. As a writer who spends an inordinate amount of time writing zombie stories, most people assume that I love reading about zombies and watching zombie movies and going to zombie dress-up events and all that stuff. I’ve got a secret. I actually don’t. Yes, I love every George Romero zombie film there is, even the ones no one else does. I love the Resident Evil movies, but that is also due to the Milla Jojovich factor, the actress that I have a free pass for from my wife for when we meet (right, honey? Honey? It was a joke! Honey? /grumble /makes couch into bed). I love Max Brooks’ zombie novels (and cringe when I think what Brad Pitt is going to do to World War Z. Just when I started to respect him as an actor and whatnot.). And honestly? That’s about it. There’s a couple throwaways like Planet of the Dead that I enjoy as well, but there is an awful lot that I don’t really care for in the slightest.
Posted in Zombies
Tags: Annoying Things, People Are Idiots, Reviews, Speechifyin', TV, Whining, Zombies
NFL Week 6: Sometimes It Sucks To Be Right
Posted by Alan Edwards
First things first: the I’m Goin’ Deep Fan Club picture is gone for as long as Rex Grossman is no longer the starter for the Washington Redskins. Which means that it’ll probably not show up on here ever again.
Secondly, I realize that Week 6 isn’t over yet. There is still a Monday Night game to go. I don’t know who’s playing and don’t really give a shit since those games happen after I go to bed, and the entire NFC East played anyway. Plus, I need to get Week 6 out of my system quick, like a wasted college freshman after downing 6 bottles of Boone’s Farm. Best to purge and move on.
Anyway, this is what I said last week about the Redskins-Eagles game:
So this week coming up, the 3-1 Redskins face the reeling 1-4 Eagles in Washington. The Redskins have had 2 weeks to prepare for this game, get healthy and rested, study film, and prepare for this important NFC East game. Should be a win, right?
Ummmm, no.
