The pulse-pounding excitement surrounding my Name a Book, Get Devoured contest has come to an end! After compiling close to a THOUSAND entries (uh, roughly estimated. It’s either 1,012 or 7, but it’s hard to say) they have been whittled down, mulled over, masticated, ruminated, regurgitated, and shifted to different stomach chambers for the final decision. Now, I am pleased to announce the lucky winner:

ALAN EDWARDS!

Yes! Thank you! I’m so excited! I never win anything! Wow!

Yeah. Shortly after posting the contest, I got an idea that I loved. That NEVER happens. So I waited, and got a lot of really great ideas from awesome people, but nothing that caught me as much as my own idea. I passed my idea along to a few people I trust, and since their reactions of muted disinterest weren’t outright hatred, I decided to go with it.

Here it is.

You ready?

Sure?

OK, here goes.

Ready?

Ow! Fine. Here it is:

WAITING ON THE DEAD.

*crickets*

No, seriously, that’s it. It’s, uh, cool, right?

*crickets*

Well, yeah. That’s the title. I like it, since he’s a server, right, and he’s also writing the memoir while he’s waiting for the zombies to come eat him, so, like it’s got this sort-of duality thing going, you know, so it’s like true on different levels and stuff, and….

*crickets*

Yeah.

Anyway, for everyone who participated, I am extending the award to them even though I didn’t use their idea! Well, hell, I’ll extend it to anyone. If you’d like to have a character with YOUR VERY OWN NAME (or any alias you prefer) ripped apart and devoured by the walking dead in excruciating chunk-by-chunk detail, just comment here and say YES, I WANT YOU TO EAT ME!

Wait, that’s all awkward sounding all of a sudden.

So, uh, instead, just say, sure, that’d be great, really, I’d enjoy that being-named-thing idea you have, and we can all back away slowly and kinda avoid eye contact for a bit until everything’s all cool again. Cool? Cool.