Work Dialogue Trees
Sit Down (press A)
Access Laptop (press A)
Ignore E-mail (press A)
Co-Worker 1: Hi, Aravan, how are you today?
Options:
– Just great, Co-Worker 1, and how are you?
– Not bad, you?
– Fuck off.
Aravan: Fuck off.
Co-Worker 1: Someone’s having a case of the Mondays, I see. [ends]
Access Extranet (press A)
– News
– Sports
– Gossip
Former ultraball champion Guy LaFeurve was indicted on multiple counts of –
Co-Worker 2: Hey Aravan. I’m all stressed since I can’t figure out this problem.
Options:
– That’s a shame. Is there anything I can do to help?
– Sorry to hear that. Let me know if you stay stuck, I may be able to help later.
– I hear ya. Up to my ass in my own work too.
– Fuck off.
Aravan: I hear ya. Up to my ass in my own work too.
Co-Worker 2: (sighs) Well, let me tell you about the problem I’m working on, and maybe you can figure something out.
Options:
– Is there anything I can do to help?
– Let me know if you stay stuck, I may be able to help later.
– Fuck off.
Aravan: Fuck off.
Co-Worker 2: I’m reporting you to Human Resources for not being mutual. [ends]
Access Extranet (press A)
Human Resources Bot: Greetings Aravan. I have heard a report of behaviors that fall outside of the company’s Principled Guidelines.
Options:
– I’m sorry. I wish to atone for my actions.
– It’s been a rough day.
– Fuck off.
Aravan: It’s been a rough day.
Human Resources Bot: I understand. However, this does not excuse you from behaving poorly towards one of your Teammates.
Options:
– I regret that very much. I should go apologize.
– You’re right. I need time to reflect.
– Fuck off.
Aravan: You’re absolutely right. I think I should take some time and properly reflect on what I’ve done and how I can improve myself.
Human Resources Bot: I think that is an excellent idea. Come in tomorrow with a fresh attitude and a new perspective.
Renegade +2
Credits -250
Access Exit (press A)
Posted on February 23, 2010, in Kerfluffle and tagged Nerdery. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.
HAHAHAHA!